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To every guy who came into the comments on my Gisele Pelicot article to yell “not all men” at me and demand I give due deference to the good guys… It’s time to be quiet.
An investigation uncovered more than 70,000 users in Telegram group chats admitting to raping women and sharing tips on how to sedate them.
This investigation came out right after the verdict in the landmark Gisele Pelicot mass rape trial - which saw her ex husband sentenced to 20 years in prison and another 50 men found guilty of sexual assault.
Gisele was drugged by her husband for over a decade - and assaulted by at least 80 men.
Since writing about her case and why shame must change sides - I’ve endured a slew of abuse that ranges from “not all men” rallying cries to men telling me that I would be happier if I adopted more traditional values - and everything in between.
I’ve been called every slur you can think of.
I’ve been told that if I were more appreciative of men I wouldn’t be so “angry”. I’ve been labeled a misandrist and accused of not being supportive enough of the opposite sex.
I’ve been informed that it’s a woman’s job to prevent assault - and that she needs to take that job more seriously.
We take it very seriously. We can’t stop you from raping us.
If we could - there would be no more rape.
We’ve fought for decades against the patriarchal, misogynistic rape culture that leads to so much suffering and abuse … we need YOU to fight now.
There’s a certain perverseness in demanding a victim show more respect for the opposite sex while you show her absolutely no respect at all.
These men are so busy trying to make sure the internet knows they’re “good men” that they can’t even see how horrifically they’re behaving.
Or maybe they can see - and they simply don’t care.
I genuinely don’t know anymore. All I know is that no matter how many times I explain that while it’s not all men - I can’t know which men it is - the message is not sinking in.
It NEEDS to sink in.
Rape is not some rare event that is carried out by a stranger who was hiding in the bushes … it’s almost always someone we know.
As the article linked above proves - men will go to great lengths to sedate their partners, wives, girlfriends etc just so they can harm them.
They’re hiding drugs in hair products. They’re swapping tips on the internet. They’re inviting other men over to harm the women who’ve trusted them with their safety.
This is a huge fucking problem. It’s not an anomaly. It’s not something to be swept under the rug.
We won’t be silent anymore.
We are going to keep being loud. We will keep calling this behaviour out wherever we see it
Rape culture thrives in the dark. Abusers count on the shame their victims will feel as a way to keep them quiet.
Gisele Pelicot has encouraged all victims to speak up. It is not our shame - it’s theirs.
Please join us. Demand better of your fellow man. Loudly condemn these despicable acts.
Show us that you’re one of the good guys by being a true ally - not by yelling over us on the internet.
Listen. Pay attention. Speak up if you see someone being harmed.
We won’t go gently. It’s time for change.
telegraph.co.uk/world-news/202…
My article on Gisele Pelicot, medical misogyny & why disabled people face increased risk: disabledginger.com/p/gisele-pe…
#mercigisele #giselepelicot
#sexualassault #rape #abuse #misogyny #patriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #shamemustchangesides #womensrights
Telegram 'rape groups' with up to 70,000 members uncovered in German investigation
Users from multiple countries have been sharing tips on how to sedate and sexually assault women, German investigation findsJörg Luyken (The Telegraph)
Gisele Pelicot’s ex husband sentenced to twenty years in prison - and all fifty of the men tried with him have been found guilty and will serve jail time. Shame HAS changed sides.
I’m incredibly grateful for what Gisele has accomplished. She flipped the narrative. She gave up her right to privacy and anonymity so that the whole world could see what these monsters did to her. She refused to be made into a victim, refused to be blamed or shamed for what they did to her.
I wrote an article about her story - the role medical misogyny played in what happened to her and why ‘Not All Men’ rings hollow to us right now.
I expressly said that now is NOT the time to yell ‘Not All Men’ at us - because in this particular case - it was a great many men. Men from all ages, backgrounds and walks of life.
It was her own husband of fifty years. Her neighbour. Fathers and husbands. It was too many men.
The men who were approached by her husband and declined to assault Gisele? They didn’t go to the police. They didn’t get her help. They patted themselves on the back for being ‘good men’ for simply not raping an unconscious woman.
The worst part? We may never know how many of them there were.
I was scared to share this article. I was afraid of blowback from people who are unwilling and/or unable to accept just how bad rape culture is. How deep the rot of patriarchy goes.
One of the first comments I got was a man telling me to stop painting all men as rapists. That most men are ‘very fond’ of women. That he ‘likes them a lot’ and that I shouldn’t worry so much because he’s sending me a hug.
He literally commented with ‘not all men’ on an article pleading with men to stop yelling over us. And he saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact - he went on to say that this case is an anomaly and it’s what prisons are for - but most men are good and I need to recognize that.
Let me say this one more time - the ONLY thing about this case that’s an anomaly is the sheer scope and horror of it.
Rape is not an anomaly. It’s almost never perpetrated by a stranger. The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the woman knew and trusted and believed to be a ‘good man.’
You don’t know until it’s too late - and that’s exactly why we’re asking you to stop saying ‘Not All Men.’
Please - listen to us. Learn. Speak up FOR us instead of OVER us. Be an ally and condemn these acts instead of trying to act like they’re the outliers. They aren’t.
This happens too damn much, we are fed up, and we won’t be silent any longer.
Shame IS changing sides and it will be because we won’t back down.
disabledginger.com/p/gisele-pe…
#giselepelicot #abuse #sexualassault #notallmen #misogyny #patriarchy #rapeculture
Gisele Pelicot, Medical Misogyny and How Disabled People Face Increased Risk of Abuse
Most of us have heard Gisele's story. It's a reminder that even men you trust can harm you. Did you know that she went to her doctors for help? A look at how medical misogyny contributed to her abuse.Broadwaybabyto (The Disabled Ginger)
