Self-hosted experience (with Docker):
Element is slow, voicechat once worked but borked itself over time, it broke itself twice during upgrades, as a user the setup and constant hassle with encryption makes it not worth it.

Stoat is reworking their voicechat system which means is has no voicechat/call support when self-hosted, which makes it not suitable as a Discord replacement imo. It has the essential text chat features down but so do many other apps, like Steam.
You see my point.

What about Sable or Cinny?

Sable principal instance app.sable.moe

Sable

A Matrix client where you can enjoy the conversation using (not) simple, elegant and secure interface protected by e2ee with the power of open source. And colorful cosmetics. Because yes.

^{app.sable.moe}