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🤣 😂 🤣 🤣 😂 😂
Someone opened a new account :

Heard Island
and it is hilarious.
I will be sharing a few posts.

Here is the first
#HeardIsland
👉 Note: This will be a thread 🧵
1/?
from BSky

An Open Letter to President Donald J. Trump and the United States Government From the Sovereign Authority of Heard Island Dear Mr. President and Esteemed Members of the United States Government, It has come to our attention, via what we assume must have been a clerical error—or perhaps an overzealous intern armed with a dartboard—that the United States has imposed a 10% tariff on goods from Heard Island. Given that Heard Island is an uninhabited, windswept rock in the middle of the Southern Ocean, home only to glaciers, penguins, and the occasional confused seabird, we must express both our profound confusion and begrudging admiration at your commitment to economic policy. We are eager to comply with all international trade regulations, though we must admit we are at a bit of a loss as to what precisely you intend to tax. Our chief exports include: - Penguin chatter, which, while priceless, is difficult to monetize. - Glacial ice, which may become a hot commodity, though we were under the
- Glacial ice, which may become a hot commodity, though we were under the impression the world was already melting it for free. - Volcanic rocks, which are quite striking but largely stationary unless personally relocated by an ambitious albatross. Given these constraints, we respectfully request clarification: Will the tariff apply to the krill occasionally sneaking into American waters? Will there be a customs officer stationed on the island to assess the value of penguin squawks? And, most importantly, should our resident elephant seals file tax returns? In the interest of diplomacy, we propose a counteroffer: in exchange for waiving this tariff, we pledge not to impose our own retaliatory 10% tax on American tourists who—once every five years—brave the perilous journey to visit our fine, windswept shores. We also promise not to overcharge your scientists for the privilege of watching our penguins waddle about, though we must warn you, they refuse to work for free. We await your response with great anticipation (and mild amusement) and encourage vour trade
#heardisland
This entry was edited (2 weeks ago)
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 #HeardIsland

2/?

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬

We need to dispel some rumors. There is ZERO fentanyl trafficking on both of our HIMI islands. In fact, while our Gentoo penguins can travel hundreds of miles to bring partners their favorite pebble, they are incapable and unwilling of carrying even an ounce of illicit drugs."

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 #HeardIsland

3/?

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
BREAKING from Heard Island’s Press Room: “We will welcome President Trump’s envoys to our territory to discuss tariff adjustments. Any guest is expected to be wearing a Tuxedo, and to thank us for crustacean and krill offerings. We will egg sit and seal taunt while they discuss their cards.”
April 2, 2025 at 11:26 PM"

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 #HeardIsland
4/?

"It’s 9am TFT time here, and citizens are already gathering to protest Tariffs by the United States. Our plain clothes Officer Penguins are attempting to maintain calm, but unfortunately we keep losing them in the crowd.
April 3, 2025 at 12:13 AM"

(possible AI -generated photo)

Photo of thousands of penguins probably AI generated
#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

Thread 5/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
Inspired by
@mark-carney.bsky.social
and Canadians everywhere. We’re all fighting back on our home ice!"

A stylised dark blue and light blue poster featuring a large penguin with one flipper help upward, stars in the background and a volcano in the distance, and waves in the forfground. Flippers Up. Heard Island
#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 6/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
We’ve spoken to senior US Officials. They confirmed they’ve tariffed our lovely Islands in order to force us to sell our precious flightless bird eggs to America at discounted rates given egg prices there, and their Health Secretary raving about the benefits of fertilized Penguin eggs and whale skin
April 3, 2025 at 1:19 AM"

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 7/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
If you are new here, yes we’re technically an Australian territory, but we prefer the term Antarctic Nudist colony. Australia with freezer burn if you will."

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 8/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
Please be patient with our slow Gov services at this time. We have not had this much media attention since Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein visited our little island many years ago, which is obviously publicly shared and un-redacted knowledge"

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 9/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
Live from the Ice House Capitol building: “In response to these economic threats and to emphasize our unity, we will be renaming McDonald Island to the Isle of Krill. No longer will gluttonous dictators confuse us for a land of obesity and value menus”."

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 10/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
The representative from McDonald Island has tried to filibuster our renaming of the island but did not have the same stamina as
@booker.senate.gov
and stood for only 24 minutes."

(AI generated photo)

AI generated photo of an extemely over-sized penguin
#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

🧵 11/?

#HeardIsland

"Heard Island Government
‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
We take tariffs on our beautiful Heard Island very seriously. We will be consulting all mammals and flightless birds and will make an announcement in the near future detailing our response. #heardisland #tariff #mcdonaldisland #trumptariff
April 2, 2025 at 8:01 PM"

#tariff #heardisland #mcdonaldisland #trumptariff
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

Snowshadow 🇨🇦
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Snowshadow 🇨🇦
• •

👋 more from #HeardIsland

🧵 continued update

12/?

‪"Heard Island Government‬ ‪@heardislandgov.bsky.social‬
·
Finance Ministry: “We’ve never exported anything, but now that America has economic interest, we could ship some samples of unrefrigerated krill via standard transit to the White House. Paired with some Limburger, epoisses, or cabrales, they will realize we have cards ripe to negotiate with”

#heardisland
in reply to Snowshadow 🇨🇦

HistoPol (#HP) 🏴 🇺🇸 🏴
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HistoPol (#HP) 🏴 🇺🇸 🏴
• •

🙏🤣

However, after all the BS economics coming from the Casa Blanca (as DC will surely be taken over by Latino drug lords,) how about some #WhalePoop for #tRump instead?

#Trump #WhalePoop
⇧