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THERE IS LITTLE DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF AIR
OR OF THIS ELEVATOR DROPPING UNCONTROLLABLY.

Lisa Melton reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

My sign downplaying the risks of being in a stuck elevator are raising questions answered by my sign.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

in the event that the elevator does run out of air or plunges to the ground, the situation outside of the elevator is likely significantly worse than inside and it's likely you would have died much sooner had you not been stuck inside this over-engineered metal case.

In which case, you're welcome.

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

hmmmmm. I was in an elevator in a big Chicago hotel that suddenly fell 3 levels. Hit my head and had a seizure, a night at a hospital. If I saw that sign I’d likely walk the stairs.

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

🎶…“All operators are with other customers, please remain on the line…. calls are answered in the order they’re received”….🎶
in reply to Cory Doctorow

Well they would say that wouldn't they...until it is the person that wrote the sign, hammering on the doors, screaming "I can't breath, I can hear the cable breaking!"

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

so what happens if you are running out of air while freefalling in this elevator and the elevator isn't equipped with the phone to call the 24 hour emergency service?
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I used to work in a building where they would not have been allowed to use that sign in the elevator. Ours dropped a couple floors on me twice. 🤣
in reply to Cory Doctorow

do not become alarmed, instead press the “alarm” button. we will become alarmed on your behalf.

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

@burritojustice Little danger. So there is some. My anxiety is now in an heightened state.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

IF TELEPHONE NOT FURNISHED USE THUMB & PINKY "CALL ME" OPTION
in reply to Cory Doctorow

at least it's not voice activated?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbDnxzrbxn4
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I kinda want to see this placard inexplicably posted in a bathroom.

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

Do not be alarmed. Being alarmed consumes the limited air supply faster.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

There is little danger of this fire extinguisher spontaneously combusting, or taking off like a rocket.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I would have worded it as "RELATIVELY LITTLE DANGER".

(For some reason I'm not allowed to design elevators.)

in reply to Cory Doctorow

If the elevator interior runs out of air, it is highly likely thee area around the elevator has also run out of air. In that case, sayonara.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

that could've been the first good use of comic sans
in reply to Cory Doctorow

we are experiencing greater than average call volume...
in reply to Cory Doctorow

Thank god! I was really worried about dropping uncontrollably AND running out of air at the same time. I shouldn't have been. More likely the elevator will be vaporized by the #Climate #Emergency. Good to know someone is on call.

Cory Doctorow reshared this.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

Our company needs some urgent work from home jobs. Those interested in this job must apply early.

Application Rules
Step number 1.

Submit my gmail and zip code.

Step number 2.

Check your email and confirm your application.

Thank you for staying with our Microsoft company.

Best wishes to you.

Website link: https://sites.google.com/d/141QLpEgh5don16LV1oUqrogCtAuXq5gC/p/1KxubAVg3YktFdGIQzQRi10fjf5wvxO4V/edit

in reply to Cory Doctorow

I’d never even considered that option before. Great.
in reply to Tek say vote

@tek
I think there are people in the world who have seen too many movies and really panic that those things are going to happen if the elevator gets stuck.

It's plausible to me that there are enough people out there who absolutely freak the fuck out that someone might want to preemptively reassure them to try to keep people from frantically calling 911 the moment there's an elevator issue.

But introducing new worries to other people is the unintended side effect.

in reply to Cory Doctorow

non-zero, then.
I'm guessing it's worded like that to reduce the liability the company would face in case it does happen
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I think that sign says far more about the person who had it placed there than it does about elevators.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I get those are things people freak out about but the cheery ambivalence still annoys me.

more serious concerns IMO
* Need to pee
* Need to poop
* It's flipping hot in the elevator and I don't have water

in reply to Cory Doctorow

"citizen, do not consider all the horrifying ways you could be killed or mutilated by this device. Do not imagine your painful death by asphyxiation while enclosed within it. Stop imagining it. Stop"
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I worked in the Flatiron building in NYC before the old hydraulic elevators were replaced. Sometimes the car would just drop one floor at a time for no reason. We took the stairs most of the time.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

read as: just to set your mind at ease we’ll make placid reassurances…b/c panicking riders are just too much for us frankly
in reply to Cory Doctorow

There is even less danger of the floor opening suddenly and dropping you into the darkest pits of hell.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

Despite the odds, I have been in buildings twice when elevators have actually fallen uncontrollably. I wasn't either elevator. Both were either being inspected or were under repair. But this is me looking sideways at that sign.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

Don't listen to the signs! When you read the sign backwards you realize that the builders are conspiring with the devil!
in reply to Cory Doctorow

One time when I was on a consulting gig in a different city, I got stuck in an elevator. I used the phone to call the elevator company, only to be routed to a call centre several thousand kilometres away. The person on the phone needed the address of the building I was in, which I didn't know: "I'm in the <<customer name>> tower in <<city name>>." The license that was supposed to be posted in the elevator (which would have had an address on it) wasn't. Frightening and frustrating.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I know that elevators are *extremely* safe (thanks @deviantollam) but a high speed elevator going up full speed that suddenly stops and drops down a floor is kinda scary. I took the stairs for the remaining 5 floors.

I was later told by people more familiar with this building "Oh yeah, they do that sometimes, it happens when the other car is being held longer than the computer expected."

in reply to Dany

@Dany wow, is there more to this story? For some reason mastodon is not linking me to the rest of the thread that might be above it somewhere?
@Dany
in reply to Deviant Ollam

@deviantollam @Dany it was just hanging up in my opthalmologist's elevator this morning. Seems to have been there a long time.
in reply to Cory Doctorow

@deviantollam @Dany How did the procedure go? All good to remove the lenses from your glasses? Doing good?
in reply to Cory Doctorow

DAYS SINCE
ELEVATOR RAN OUT OF AIR
OR DROPPED
UNCONTROLLABLY: ____
in reply to Cory Doctorow

I feel they could have been clearer _still_:

ODDS OF SURVIVAL

FROM HUNGER AND THIRST INSIDE THE CABIN:
➡️ PRETTY GOOD

FROM BISECTION IF TRYING TO ESCAPE UNAIDED:
➡️ NOT THAT GOOD

in reply to Cory Doctorow

And presumably also little danger of becoming embroiled in a locked-room murder mystery that alters the lives of everyone involved and goes unsolved until the statute of limitations is just about to run out?