I'm selfish. I want to feel good. I feel good when I create honest emotional expression. That's all I have going for me. I reason that it's worth sharing because I see so little of it. Even though I don't feel good when my bank account is overdrawn (as it has been for days) I still value honest emotional expression more than making money. I never found a way to make money that I didn't hate. I never found a way to even think about money that feels good. I'm selfish. I want to feel good.

#Rart

I was just researching Bluesky. As of yet I don't feel enticed. Of course I don't, I hate capitalism. But ever since I'm no longer on Facebook I have not found a way to connect with others who are interested in the 2 things I have to offer, abstract expressionist paintings & personal writing. Maybe humans aren't into that stuff anymore. I feel very lost and alone and afraid. I know it's "just social media," but with my current disability online is my only outlet.

Hashtag art gallery:
#Rart

Being an artist can be a mindfuck.
What I want is I say seems uh oh I dunno maybe obvious (because art is well-known as a difficult field to make money) or maybe like I'm making excuses or something
But
I think about the mindfuck of putting years of work and heart into something & not having basic needs met. It breaks my brain to be able to say: Look at my life's accomplishments OH WAIT no I have no accomplishments because I'm destitute and that is killing my soul

Yayyyyy!
#Rart

Content warning: mh- negative mental health Reveal/hide

I think about death "a lot" but it's in quotes because how much is that? These days that means a few days a week. In my 20s it meant infinity times each day. Now I think of it for release from my physical pain and then it was psychological (and religious) self loathing. That time eventually came to an end. I don't know if or when this current difficult moment will pass. I don't know if I'll adjust or find relief or deteriorate more. Good times!
#Rart

More Perfect Union, 40 x 30 inches or 102 cm by 76 cm.

Frank talk on prices: I am an artist & have been for 30 years, so clearly I know nothing about earning money. I list my work on a sliding scale, this one would be $600+. (That includes shipping if necessary.) I don't think that's a lot for this size but I also think all Americans want art to be $40. For nearly 20 years on social media I can never talk about this topic bc it would be suppressed. I'm burning out daily. That's all.

#Rart