All the teams are on boats and wave flags. This is basically #eurovision with more standardized clothing.

#olympics #paris

Oh. And now there's Lady Gaga singing in pretty good French while a bunch of dancers move around with pink tribbles. This is kinda enticing.

I hope we get Jacques Brel as well.

#olympics #paris2024

#Bermuda is wearing pink bermuda shorts.

Bhutan is five people in a wooden James Bond speedboat. Very them.

Wow. #Brazil just brought the entire country.

Isn't #daftpunk #french? I wonder if they do a thing.

#olympics #paris2024

Oh #Canada owns that boat. Probably all the members of the curling teams.

And then there's one guy from Central African Republic.

oMG. Man on a zipline! Is that Boris Johnson on the way to a guillotine?

#paris2024

Great. A random Louis Vuitton ad. I wonder if they at least sponsored it with a couple of 100 million?

#paris2024 #olympics

Wtf chopped up talking head. LET THEM EAT CAKE (well, brioche).

Currently there's a French version of a Ramstein / Celtica combo. Kinda nice. And flames.

I'm still waiting for the giant floating croissant though.

#olympics #paris

Wow that's a cool #library.

I wonder if they have anything about the sewer system of #Paris? 😄

If you're wondering: Golden dress woman is Aya Nakamura. Cool.

The drumband with toilet brush hats are cool too. In their very own way. They're the republican guard.

#olympics #paris2024

There's this guy that runs everywhere with a flame. Even inside buildings. No wonder the Notre Dame burned down.

#paris

W t f is north korea wearing?!

Edit: oh. Translucent rainjackets. Nevermind, as a Dutch person living in Denmark I had not identified the drizzle as rain.

#olympics #paris2024

The Danes have their own boat. And brought their king. #hygge and shit.

Djibouti is doing the wave. Sorry DK, they're cooler.

#paris2024

"Oh no, the mono lisa is stolen! What will the French police do now?"

(maybe we shouldn't go there)

#Paris

I'm convinced some of the sportspeople from countries like Moldova and Georgia are also regular artists to #eurovision

#sports

Guam has one cool flag. Just saying.

#paris2024

It's seriously fun to watch how much fun the sportspeople have. I didn't expect to like all this, but I do.

We also get a good idea of available river boats in Paris.

#paris2024 #olympics #boatrental

"Hong Kong, China"

That comma is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Ah. Israel. That's probably one of the reasons they don't show audience at the same time as the teams.

#paris2024 #olympics

I was told by @juliette , who was told by someone else, that the phantom of the opera person is actually a character from Assessins Creed, a video game.

Now you know as well.

#paris #gaming

Apparently the #minions are #french

And now they're swimming under water. I do hope the CGI #seine doesn't contain CGI poop.

#olympics

"sororité" = sisterhood

There's a big #feminist movement who are saying the traditional french motto Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité could do with an update to be inclusive.

From @juliette. More interesting stuff in the podcast @WTFrance

#olympics #paris2024

They just passed a ski jump. I hope that's reused for the french winter olympics opening in some years.

#olympics

Oh. That's a skatejump.

Luxembourg is facing the wrong way?!? Is there something wrong with the filming?!

It's fixed with Madagaskar.

Also: i do hope we see a small delegation in a kajak or one of those swan peddle boats.

#drama

#olympics #paris2024

Hmm. I'm getting worried we might not see a giant inflatable croissant. Maybe the #french are trying to stay away from stereotypes?

I hope we at least get to see Celine Dion floating on a door.

#paris #olympics #titanic

Hell yeah Mauritius! Cool shirt and synchronized dancing!

#olympics

To anyone annoyed that I'm spamming your feed with misspelled takes on the olympic opening ceremony: sorry, this is the only sports thing I like. I won't say a thing the next four years.

Mongolia's mom made them one hell of a cool shirt btw

#paris2024 #olympic2024

Nauru has a guy who needs to pee.

#olympics

Uhm. Is there a traditional reason why Niger is saluting instead of having fun?

I like that NigerA is next to it. #Norway should rebrand as NigerB

#paris2024

@juliette informs me rapperdude is a famous French dude. Maybe this is Johnny Hollyday?

#paris2024

The last supper in drag with France Gall..

Lol 🙂

#olympics #paris2024

Confession: I was afraid there'd be more sports. This is nice.

#paris2024

The quality of the boats is going down a bit. I'd prefer to rent the lill wooden speedboat or the nice electric riverboats from the beginning.

#boating #paris

They put the #Dutch on the ugliest boat available. Fair. They could've brought their own.

Daft punk!

Ok. Here's North Korea. I, uhm, hope their families are ok. 😐

#paris2024

Solomon Islands on a tiny boat gives me hope for the floating croissant or swan-paddle-boat.

We haven't seen the flame dude for some time. Might the Louvre be on fire?! 🔥

#olympics #paris2024

My parter @juliette sings along with all the French songs. It's very intimidating.

Slovakia's guy shirts look they're on a stag night.

Slovenia like they're on a graduation trip.

#olympics #paris #france

Sweden is prepared. Their olympic outfit is just a yellow Fjallraven outfit

#dressfortheolympicsyouwant #Olympics2024

Chinese Tapai

Shouldn't there at least be comma there? Hong Kong got one.

#olympics

I suspect the Islamic Republic of Iran is not broadcasting the entire opening ceremony..

Togo is the best at jumping!

Tonga looks like a nice Christian family out on the town.

#paris #olympics

Ukraine and Uruguay next to each other makes for the Ukrainian flag. Nice.

#paris

Aaaaand Zambia and Zimbabwe. The last alphabet countries.

Now Australia. Just like #eurovision they get a special ticket or something.

#paris

Uhm. USA USA USA! They get their own aircraft carrier.

Firedude is back! You'd think he'b been captured by now.

#paris #flame

fun fact: Just like #eurovision, if you win the #olympics you have to organise them.

#fact #paris2024

I'm disappointed the #French sportspeople are not placed on a nuclear submarine. Just as a power move.

#paris #ParisOlympics

IT'S THe FiNAL COunTDOwn

Aag aaaaaahhhh ahahahahahha

#european flag. Hell yeah #eurodance

Turns out I am the target audience for this. Wow.

#paris #olympics

Meanwhile Celine Dion is floating down the Seine river on a replica Titanic door.

It'll be epic.

#olympics

I think Daft Punk is sitting in front of their TV right now and go "oh. We probably should've been part of this rhythm of the night".

#olympics

Ok. Here's an idea: we stop with #Eurovision and just have #France do an #olympic opening every year. No need for the sports.

Oh, and we still kick out #Russia.

Also: wtf smurf dude.

#paris