About the contrasts.

I feel a need to address this because often people DM me or say nasty things about me because they can't comprehend the contrasts of my life are real.

And also, I just like to write so let's dive in, a TW, I am brutally honest about traumas and joys. TW sexual trauma general mentioning, disability, bullying and gender.

In this photo I am in Bermuda, a breath taking tropical island I lived in for 3 months as my fiance is Bermudian. He's also a well known influencer and we work together a lot (I do his merch, strategy, co-writing and a lot more). I have two fiancés I'm absolutely happy and completely, helplessly in love with. I have a successful small business which allows me to save a bit and travel (though I still can't def afford a music degree in the US which I was accepted to). I had a lot of great worldwide press for my music and film work. My family is very supportive and I have a few good friends who stuck with me. I'm studying sound and music composition for films and games in Israel now which is wonderful. I'm 25 soon and many people tell me often I've achieved so much but I'm only getting started.

And also

I have 9 disabilities (NVLD, ADHD, DPDR, GAD, severe OCD, Clinical Depression, cPTSD, IBD ulcerative colitis and as diagnosed just a few days ago, a psychosomatic disorder). I was raped and psychologically abused by two past relationships in my youth. I've been sexually assaulted a few times after that. I have PCOS which means I'm female but on the intersex spectrum, and I am genderless mentally, I came out as genderless way before I ever knew being nonbinary even existed as a concept, when I was 17 and for me it also comes with me having had lots of body and gender related struggles which I can comment on in a separate post (but I'm happy with my body today). I've been extremely bullied in my entire childhood and teenhood years, I still have nightmares about that. My parents also survived October 7th and I had been traumatized by this to the point of an over 6 months long psychiatric emergency which in combination with antisemitism and a wave of hate to all things Israel by my last friends, led to me losing almost all of my friends, getting completely mentally scarred and leaving London where I lived and worked part time.

My point is this - I can be strong capable and happy in some ways and a victim or suffering and disabled in others.

And both are real, being one doesn't take away from being the other, they are all true, (and are way too detailed here because of my truth-severe-OCD).

We all have contrasts like this, it's just called being human, but maybe in my case it is more extreme, to both directions, than what many people are used to.

That's ok, I'm just done with people lying about me or to my face, or being abusive to me, by saying I shouldn't be speaking about my family surviving the massacre or my hostage relative because I also got to visit Bermuda or make a lot of sales of my handmade art to hundreds of happy customers.

How the hell, do those counter each other?

Contrasts do not cancel each other in my life. They exist together. I heal wherever I can. I hurt and I shine.

That's my life and if it's not for you, don't DM me, just unfollow me or something I don't care I won't even notice.

But if you choose to stay, let's respect each other, believe each other and support each other. Because we all got our own shit to deal with, and me being who I am for better or worse doesn't't take away anything from you being who you are.

Love,
Emmanuelle

#mentalhealth #art #arts #jewish #handmade #disability